Introduction to loneliness

I know, I know that I've promised to post more frequently. But come on! I wasn’t aware of the fact that it’s not so easy to summarize all my thoughts and all the things I’m reading and experiencing day after day, into one short massage. Honestly, that was unexpected. Now I’m stuck on a notion of contemporary loneliness and I’m finding myself more and more frightened. To tell You the truth I’m terrified and extremely fascinated at the same time. I didn’t expect it to be such a threat. This subject just has to be developed properly, but I guess it won’t be something wrong to give You a bit of a foretaste.

How did it even get my attention? I mean, in my personal experience it’s not a novelty, but as always, I wasn’t sure it it's only me or the whole generation is freaking out? Now, after few days of various material examinations, I’m pretty convinced that my case is not as severe as some of my friends’ cases and in comparison to all the stories I’m hearing and reading lately. Actually, I consider myself lucky, but whatever. I’ll choose some other time for my personal exhibitionism, now back to the point.

While reading the beginning of ManuelCastells’ “The Rise of the network society” I faced the theory, which proves in a way my own feelings and suspicions. According to Castells and other thinkers quoted there, the contemporary revolution of technique contributes largely to the self identity crisis of western civilians, which directly leads to the more vague term - sense of loneliness.

That is actually my starting point - the loneliness, but defined as:

“… perceived social isolation. As Cacioppo emphasizes, this means that loneliness and solitude are not the same thing. “Loneliness isn’t being alone, it’s feeling alone,” he says. A person surrounded by others can be lonely if he doesn’t feel like he has a meaningful connection with any of them."

From:http://www.boston.com/bostonglobe/ideas/articles/2009/12/27/the_loneliness_network/?page=2

I don’t want you to drown in the lake of my unnecessary words, cause I’m trying new “archive style”, so more about John Cacioppo you can find here. Recently, with another guy called William Patrick, he published a book “Loneliness. Human Nature and the Need for Social Connection”. He even has his own blog regarding this subject.

There is though one theory worth emphazising – according to Cacioppo (goddammit, what a funny name!) loneliness is contagious! You just have to read about it here.

The individualistic approach is present in our reality for decades, but for the first time in history we should consider it as a common social problem. Deepening emotional abyss between individuals, creates completely new conception of society of loneliness (oh yes, I googled it and apparently I’m the first one using it as an official term, so back off! Society of loneliness is my invention!)

And when you don’t feel lonely you’re doing what? You are occupied with being afraid of being lonely! That’s right. I checked so many internet forums, blogs, facebook groups etc. I can’t even remember, but one conclusion is clear as a blue sky:

 What are you most afraid of in your future life?

-being alone

-living alone

-dying alone

- not being able to find anybody to live with

-being abandoned

- losing the ones you love

- etc.

Before I start to gather and post more material about contemporary loneliness maybe you can share with me you perspective on this concept? Do you often find yourself thinking “oh, they just don’t get me at all”? Does sense of loneliness affect your quality of life? How do you cope with it?

Oh my… I feel like an author of crapy self-help books. Sorry for that. Just write or paste sth which in your opinion could be helpful, ok? Or, maybe this whole idea is bullshit? Tell me if I’m wrong, for f… sake!

Of course, I’m not done with the subject, but tomorrow I’m joining “the working class” and I really didn’t want to left this blog stuck on my promises for another couple of days, so I’ve decided to start this discussion. AND I DEFINITELY DON”T WANT TO CONDUCT IT ALONE!