Long time no see

Whoooaw ! I'm completely irresponsible ! I plan. I make promises. I do nothing. 
Time for lame excuse : Sorry guys, but I need to eat. And to achieve that basic goal I need to work, quite a lot actually...

Still, my studies are also important. Monday I have to present briefly, in front of a "jury" and the whole class, what I've been doing lately. Even though there's no prove on this blog what so ever, I've been doing a lot (mostly during my work hours, but you know... don't mention it ok?)

What I'm going to present than, you may ask. 
Well, I wrote a statement (look below). I mean I'm not sure if it's a good idea to present it. Maybe it's too honest? Maybe they'll be ofended? What do you think? 

„LOST IN THEORY”

Fake Artist’s Statement by toytoy

Introduction

Following eight simple steps below, which I found in some random how-to-be-an-artist guide on a web, I am going to present a state of my artistic research. Why I am doing that? Let’s just say that mentioned “state of my research” is kind of vulnerable at this point, so by trying to be original I am going to distract you and make you believe that in the reality I’m pretty awesome. Some say that artist doesn’t need a statement and his art should speak for its self, but as far as I am concern my art cannot speak yet, cause something non-existing doesn’t have a right to speak – paraphrasing the old Polish proverb “Children and fish… and non-existing art don’t have a voice”.

1.       Why do I like to make art?

Well, I don’t actually. I prefer the process which precedes the creation itself – searching, talking, discussing, gathering information, analyzing, making assumptions, visualizing next step etc. I find it much more stimulating, self-developing, than the product itself. Of course, some may say that we need results to feel complete, but we have to remember that after the final results there’s nothing left. Even the moment of glory won’t last forever, so either we stay in the past and rewind over and over again our success/loss, or we start the process once more. However, what can I know? I’m into writing myself, so if we assume that writing can be a final art production, I like it because it enables me to say exactly what I want and how I want, avoiding the stress and anxiety connected with more or less public speeches and discussion platforms.

2.       What subjects do I prefer? Why?

Am I wrong, or each one of us came here with a problem, annoying and itching like a mosquito bite, close to more or less unconscious neurotic complex, even we don’t want to admit it? Some of us talk about it more openly, some of us try to hide it and overcompensate it by sophisticated ideas, but all in all we have created here a therapy group sessions under the label of art and research.  Don’t get me wrong, I love it here. That’s just how my mind works during interpretations of events. Following that thought, my subject considers mainly myself. I guess I mentioned it couple of times before. I’m digging into today’s generation of 20 something struggling with life in western societies, to show there more human, childish even side, and their great need for guidance.  

3.       What processes and techniques do I use? Why?

I’ve started with Best Practice method suggested by Catherine. I guess you’re all familiar with my version of 6 research developing steps from last semester. I was so convinced that my writings, graphs, little collages, references and other links are clear and understandable, that I’ve decided to use them to make a blog as a way of getting in touch with certain group of people to whom I’m addressing my work. Just recently it came to my attention that I’m not as clear as I’d imagined. I was far from reality. My work was chaotic. I didn’t emphasize enough the connection between individual parts. I thought that I had all eggs in one basket, so to speak, but as it came out, I didn’t have even a dozen inside.

So, I started over again by giving my work a proper title, and by marking most important fields of interest.

Contemporary influences and their effects on behavior and decision making processes of “20-something from developed and developing countries” (Generation Y, Net Generation, Millenialls, Emerging Adults, Kidults…etc.) A question of Storytelling and its’ importance for individual and social development.

  I was planning to make it logic, make it simple, make it clear. As my history teacher taught us “ Guys! Always remember about the classic model of Causes – course of events – effects. It could be and should be used everywhere”. Sooo… obviously afterwards I had to run into some information about contemporary loneliness and post some stuff on a blog about that, making everything even more complicated. But how could’ve I ignore the fact that 50% of New York City citizens runs one-person households, or how could’ve I be neutral facing the information that loneliness is contagious!  I have a whole list of similar factors which in my opinion should be taken under the consideration before I will move on to the next part. Each idea generates 100 more concepts. Each theory goes hand in hand in 100 different critical theories. Each thinker walks along with 100 other thinkers. It’s a mess I’m telling you!

I was able to restrain myself though, and to limit my research for the moment. For starters, I chose a concept of “morality”. Two reasons. First of all I believe that the philosophy is the key, and that without a proper knowledge of the origins of this concept I won’t go far questioning decision making processes. Psychological, cognitive even, approach seams closer to my background, but how can I dream of feeling competent without the philosophical bases in any subject? There’s a reason they conduct a history of philosophy on a first year of all Human Science Classes isn’t it?

The second reason is less profound. One of my “anonymous” readers reminded me that using Wikipedia definition of morality seems a bit lame. Good point! 

Morality as a factor influencing our decisions, from the one hand, but as a specific creation of times, from the other. Morality as the cause and as the effect. That is what I’m working on lately, by revising the history of philosophy and different approaches, by questioning myself, by questioning others, by questioning the connection between ethics and politics, between traditions and novelties, between individuals and collectives, between families and friends. Seems vague and blurry? Of course, but I can’t go further feeling incompetent, I need to do this for me. Probably I’m going to fail and make some lame excuse after, but for now I’m determined to take this road.

Since the second sentence of my research’s title includes the notion of “storytelling” I guess it won’t surprise anyone if I admit that I’m facing similar theoretical problems with it. It was so easy at the beginning to quote Coupland’s books, write him a personal letter without actually any hope for his reply, and leave it that way. Now, back in reality I understand that I cannot just keep it that way. I have to develop a method, way of understanding, or my own theoretical approach towards narratives. Analyze them somehow, classify by words, ideas, sentences, and search for meaning. Yet again years, decades, ages of philosophical, psychological, linguistic knowledge ahead of me. I plan to attack Michel Foucault’s discourse - from language to meaning thingy, look for some answers in Social Constructionism, get familiar with Vygotsky’s “thought and language” concept, maybe go back to some works of Eco, which I was reading as a child (it’s a fact -  I don’t remember much, but I wanted to please my father that time, cause he’s a real Eco fan).

In the same time I can’t forget to make it approachable and simple, more “bloggy” in a sense. It won’t be hard to achieve, cause according to  Mark Bauerlein, an American Professor of English and a writer, we are “the Dumbest Generation” … and I am a part of it.       

4.       How is my work different from others?

It’s not. Only neurosis and complexes vary, but the question remains the same: “Who am I?”

5.       What do I see in my artwork?

Nothing at the moment. I guess it’s a good way of escaping the reality and trying to change something, starting from myself. I honestly don’t know how my artistic production will look like at the end, I have a couple of ideas though. It’s 2 month now, I engaged myself in a Polish net semi anarchistic - semi liberal community called “Wywrota”. It’a a website gathering young writers, poets, journalists -amateurs, who has something to say and wants to presents their visions, opinions and their work. The Administrators publish most of these texts after necessary corrections. In ten years time of its existence, Wywrota has been awarded many times and gained a reputation of “the main voice of Generation born in 80’s”. I did publish couple of stories and score some very good opinions there. It’s obvious that there’s a lot of bullshit out there as well, and that the biggest “players” created an empowered clique. Even in virtual reality you can’t avoid group dynamics, but above this shallow psychology of crowd, there’s also a great amount of material I could use. I’m thinking to play with it, look for inspiration, and of course keep writing.   

6.       What do other people say they see?

I’m too afraid to ask :)

7.       What are my goals and aspirations as an artist?

There are no goals. There are no aspirations. Only dreams and hope.

8.       Who or what inspires you?

Everything is a potential inspiration. What matters is a good timing.